Monday, September 16, 2013

Encouraging Individuality in our Kids...

** warning.. images are not very clear due to a quick toddler :) **
This post was pre-written but due to having surgery and other family things I saved it for posting until now.
Today I'm going to tell you a story about baby J.
While he loves to play with his cars/trucks and to throw his ball. He also likes to be "pretty". He will be 2 years old in November and since daddy goes to work, he has spent lots of time with Mommy and his big sister The Princess...
It was recently brought to my attention that I shouldn't let him walk around in my high heels.
"Hmmm...." I thought to myself when this was said to me. "I don't know a little boy in the world who hasn't walked around in his mamas heels before..." I said to this person. I should know! I have 5 (count them!) nephews!!! This person responded with "well....MY son never did."
Again, "hmmm...." I thought. Well how about I show you some pictures here..

When baby J walked out in my heels this morning, wearing The Princess' headband on his head, I looked at him and thought... Why do we (meaning people in general) have such a massive gender stereotyping issue?? Does walking in my heels, playing with my purse and wearing my lip balm mean my son will grow up to be a cross dresser or make him believe that he is a girl?
Why is it that I am supposed to be made to feel (by other peoples standards) like a bad mom because I let my son have fun in his own way?? Why are we not encouraging our children to explore their lives to the fullest?? After all...all he was doing was copying what he sees his mommy and his sister do... Is it so wrong for our sons to look up to us and want to copy us? I don't think so..
When my son walked in wearing these things calling "mommy! mommy!" he said "I pretty!!" I smiled and said "yes baby, you are very pretty!"
Encourage your children people!! Let them explore their world so that they can find out who they are!! Your little girl playing with cars and super hero's  or your son playing with dolls and dress up clothes isn't going to ruin them! Let them be who they are.... after all - they are only little once...

Monday, September 9, 2013

The Princess and the Morning Routine....

Let me preface this post by stating that I am merely sharing a little glimpse into my life. I am NOT looking for anyone to attack my parenting style or tell me what I'm doing "wrong".

The Princess has ADHD - yes we have seen a few doctors and she is currently on medication, one of several we have tried. We have done every alternative to medication that we had been able to find. Changed routines, changed diets, tried otc homeopathic remedies...NOTHING worked. It resulted in lots of tears and frustration. The meds she is currently on aren't helping either so we are working with her behavioral health doctor on that. On top of her ADHD she has some sort of behavioral issues. Its NOT a lack of discipline or being spoiled. She has trouble controlling how her brain is processing and lacks the ability to associate consequences.... why am I telling ya'll all of this?? Because it has a HUGE impact on my morning routine...

Every morning (usually) I get up at 6:30 and start to wake up the Princess.. It takes a while. She, much like her mother, Is NOT a morning person.. I am met with anger in the mornings because she HATES getting out of bed, no matter how much sleep she got. I can generally drag her out of bed by 7:00 and get her to dress...which takes FOREVER because she dawdles like you wouldn't believe. The dressing is actually the easiest part now because we choose her outfits for the week on Sunday and they are labeled Monday- Friday in her closet. Randomly throughout the morning I call out "come on ***** we are running late!!" when in fact we aren't, but it puts a sense of urgency on her to make her actually do what she was told.. When we finally get her clothed, its time to take her medicine which becomes a theatrical event. She doesn't have a problem with the pill itself, she just drags on the whole process of taking it. Finally once that is done its usually about 7:30 and we still have to put her shoes on which takes at least another 10 minutes.. I try to be leaving the house by 7:40 because it takes 5 minutes to get to the school and she likes to eat breakfast there, so I try to have her there between 7:45 and 7:50.

This morning worked a little differently. J had to go into work this morning (he usually works evenings) So I had to get all 3 kids ready. I prepared by waking up at 6:00 instead of 6:30 and started waking the Princess up earlier so that she could get ready...unfortunately it didn't really work out as well as I had planned. This morning when I yelled "we are running late!!" we really were! I had to feed little I a bottle and wake up baby J and get him changed and dressed with shoes on as well... the Princess fought and fought with me all morning. Squirted tooth paste all over her bathroom sink, took a half an hour arguing with me about how to take her meds and then got mad because she couldn't tie her shoe the right way...

I wouldn't trade my time with her for anything in the world...ever... no matter how frustrated I get, or how angry I am.. she is my little girl and no matter her differences, we do have special moments too..

Now for a little bit of a funny moment we shared in the car last week..
On our way to school I was lecturing her. I said "when mommy says it is time to get up and get ready you have to do it, if you are late to school they don't like it!" The Princess, looking out the window says "Yeah, I understand what you're trying to say..." (keep in mind, she's only 5!) I let out a little chuckle at her response and said "If you understand what I'm saying, then why does it take so long for you to get ready in the morning?" and her response was.... "well...I think maybe there's a turtle inside of me, maybe that is what makes me so slow!"
We laughed all the way to say the silliest things sometimes :)

Till next time..